Haku the Slut
by Milk Baby
Summary: Yeah.. Lotta sick sexual implications are gonna be seen in this fic, don't know how many chapters...Haku is still mourning the departure of his dear Chihiro, so what's a young, supple boy supposed to do?! Tehe.. This is not a fic to be taken seriously =P


Haku was putzing (is that a word? o_O?) around.. Er.. Something.. He was in Zeniiba's shitty lil... -sigh-.. He was in Zeniiba's humble abode. C'mon, what's a river god ta do when he finally remembers his name, isn't under Yu-baaba's control anymore, and has lost the pre-pubescent girl of his dreams?  
  
Tossing back his mane of hair, in that way only the most bishounen of lead male characters can, Haku let out a dramatic sigh, flinging himself into the nearest chair... Or, he would have if Kaonashi (that's No Face for all you Dub-Fans) hadn't already been sitting there, in the midst of knitting a pretty pink sweater.  
  
"Uh Uh?" (close enough to the sound the thing makes) Kaonashi questioned, putting the half-finished sweater down to look at the sexy surprise in his lap. It wasn't every day that Kaonashi had cute boys thowing themselves at him.  
  
"Oh.. Excuse me, I didn't see you sitting there," Haku moaned out, sounding pitiful.  
  
"Uh Uh..." Kaonashi sounded as though he didn't really believe that.  
  
"It's just that..." Haku sat up, wriggling his bum around to get more comfortable and continue his sob story.  
  
If Kaonashi wasn't entirely black (aside from the mask) the pervert grin could have been seen spreading across his oversized lips, as it is well known knowledge that Haku's hot lil ass has that effect on people and spirits.  
  
"Chihiro and I.. I think we're SOULMATES... And.. And... I feel so empty.. And.. Vulnerable now that she's gone..." Haku whined, twirling a finger in the silky strands of his hair and fighting back giant, anime tears.  
  
". . ." Yeah.. Okay.. Kaonashi didn't wanna talk about Chihiro when he had the sexy-kitten boy on his lap. "Uh.. Uh...?" he started, trying to get the conversation past the girl.  
  
"But.. But.. You'd never leave me, even if I told you to, right, Kaonashi???" Haku sobbed out, throwing his arms around the upper portion of Kaonashi's form.  
  
"UH UH!" Kaonashi quickly assured the boy, glad the topic had now shifted.... Eh heh heh... Shifted just like Haku's bottom was against his lap...  
  
Haku froze in place, mid-hug. "Eh.. Kaonashi.. Is that Zeniiba's Magic Seal tucked under your Spirit Robes (o_O?) or..." The boy-dragon suddenly slaps on a rather seductive face. "Do I make you randy, baby?"  
  
"Uh Uh..!" Kaonashi glurped out, sounding far too excited.  
  
"Oh... Kaonashi... I'm so.. Vulnerable... And.. Tired.. If you were to take advantage of me.. Neither of us could be to blame..." Haku said sagely, hopping up onto the table top and laying down, an open invitation for the black fiend.  
  
Kaonashi seemed happy enough with that answer... So he climbed up onto the table top too!  
  
Haku was in the nude in seconds, ready and waiting... "TAKE ME, KAONAHSHI!!!!!!!!!!! I'M A BAD LITTLE DRAGON!!!!!!!!!!! PUNISH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Kaonashi, who'd been about to give it to the hot-assed lil mofo stopped, sweatdropping at that odd outburst... "Uh uh..." That meant "just shut up and let me work!"  
  
"OH YES, I'M NAUGHTY!!!!!! SPANK ME WITH THE SALAMI!!!!!!!!!" Haku shrieked, shaking his naked bum in the air and suddenly procuring a log of salami from god knows where, throwing it at the bewildered/horny Kaonashi.  
  
"UH UH???" Translation: "Where the bloody hell did this salami come from?? And what happened to the sappy little boy I was just cuddling with? I DON'T WANT THIS HORN-DOG!!! I WANT MY HAKU-CHAN BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!" With those words.. Erm.. Grunts, Kaonashi floated out the window, in search of that hopping lamp.. Oh yeah.. Don't think Kaonashi didn't see the way it was looking at him the first time they walked through the woods.  
  
Haku, realizing that he was alone now, burst into tears and hugged his salami.... The deli meat one, you bloody pervs. "I.. I just want to be... Needed.. And.. Loved.. And..."  
  
The dragon-boy's face brightened as he tugged on his clothes. "Hey! I wonder what Rin is up to!" 


End file.
